Birthdays, holidays, and family gatherings can be stressful when they cut into your recovery time. Halley Nagy, LMFT, explains how to plan ahead, participate in a way that feels good, and still protect your energy.
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special occasions and holidays um first
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it's very important to be open and clear
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about your availability um share when
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you can or cannot attend being really
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clear about those boundaries if you have
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it at noon I will not be able to get
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there until 2 just so the family or
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whoever you're celebrating with has a
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clear idea and you communicated that to
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them and stick to it if you say that you
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can't be there till 2:00 and you end up
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losing sleep and trying to make it work
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so you can be there at 12:00 again if
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you choose to do that that's different
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if you set a boundary and say "I'm not
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doing this." And then you do you are
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reaffirming to the family or whoever
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you're celebrating with that their
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boundaries aren't that um aren't that
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strong we can get them to come when we
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want them to so if you set a time when
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you're not available until make sure you
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stick to it unless of course you choose
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to do something
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different um you also again prioritize
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if others can't accommodate or can't be
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flexible like everybody else is coming
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at this time and people are traveling or
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grandma can't be out that late um and
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they can't accommodate then you might
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have to prioritize okay Christmas is my
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favorite holiday i really want to be
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there for that here's what I'm going to
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do to make it work just this
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once and then lastly you might find ways
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to celebrate independently or with a
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smaller group of people if you can't
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attend a certain thing or the big event
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can you still find ways to celebrate
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again on your own or with a smaller
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group or maybe you can be a part of the
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celebration from afar plenty of people
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have jobs where they have to work on
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holidays and special occasions
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um how do we find time to still get to
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be a part of it even if we can't be
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there and so sometimes that might mean
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facetiming on my lunch break um not
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lunch break if you're a night shift
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worker but you know facetiming at a
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different point um maybe if it's
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Christmas I would send over gifts for
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the family or if it's Thanksgiving I'm
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going to make a dish and send over and
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everyone can text me to let me know how
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it turns out um maybe I pick up a plate
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before I go into work or whenever I get
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off you know finding something that
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works for you where you can still be
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included or celebrate something on your
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own