This is part six, the final session in a six-part series on relationships and family life for night shift workers. In this session, licensed marriage and family therapist Haley Nagi discusses how to create sustainable balance in long-term relationships and family life while managing a night shift schedule.
Key topics covered include:
- Long-term relationship success – Staying connected and maintaining engagement.
- Family harmony strategies – Prioritizing time together and fostering connection.
- Social life integration – Finding ways to balance friendships and commitments.
- Continuous adaptation – Adjusting expectations and routines over time.
This session provides practical tools to help night shift workers navigate evolving relationships and maintain balance in their personal lives.
0:01 - 0:10
hello and welcome back to your guide to relationships and family life as a night shift worker this is the last part in this series part six creating sustainable balance
0:10 - 0:38
if you remember me or if you're new here my name is Haley Nagi I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist I have experience working with couples families and individuals ages 4 to 65 I specialize in family systems and relational issues and I focus on understanding family systems relationships relational Dynamics and how to make changes within those systems
0:38 - 0:53
for for our last part we are looking at long-term relationship success family Harmony strategies social life integration and continuous adaptation
0:53 - 2:00
this slide is in a few different parts or this section long-term relationship success so first some of these things are not entirely new but we'll look at them through a different lens or perhaps some of the same you want to stay connected so finding ways to stay connected throughout the day um this could be texting each other and you might be on different schedules but can I text you something that you'll get to see when you wake up um sending voice memos similarly if you like that more personal connection maybe I can send you something while I'm on my way to work and you can plan to listen to it in the morning
2:00 - 3:00
sending memes Snapchats you know things that are modes of connection nowadays um maybe you look at the Tik toks I sent you when you're missing me throughout the day there are also apps that are for connection um Marco Polo is an app where you can send video messages to each other and watch them at your leisure um it gets to feel kind of like FaceTime but it doesn't have to be in the moment it can be when you have time to watch it and respond
3:00 - 4:00
um there are apps like Finch that prioritize both emotional health and staying connected where you can prioritize goals and things for yourself but you can also have friends on the app that you can stay connected with and send messages to through that um you could play virtual games together mobile games together maybe when it's my turn I can go and send you a message and vice versa there are a lot of mediums to staying connected when you are in a long-term relationship and want to be able to talk to each other or connect with each other even when you're not always together
4:00 - 5:00
along with this make plans make plans with each other when your free time overlaps and stick to those plans um so again you might plan a day date or a date night on your night off you might schedule dinner before you go into work but having things on the calendar and having things to look forward to together can help Foster that connection and keep that connection maybe you schedule things like going to the movies um or you do a weekly check-in with each other you do coffee in the morning before your partner goes to work and maybe yours is decaf you know or maybe you drink tea to help you sleep before you go to bed
5:00 - 6:00
so sticking on that same train of thought um whether it's for fun activities or daily tasks building routines together can be really important in staying connected um so maybe we cook dinner together every night maybe we have again weekly emotional check-ins on Sundays um and we kind of meal prep or we see how the is doing what we might need to adjust or accommodate if there's anything that's been on our mind we have this set day in time where we can check in with each other especially if the week can be really busy
6:00 - 7:00
doing an activity together every week again building into these routines so maybe on um say you're off on Tuesday nights um maybe you go to trivia every Tuesday night or maybe you exercise together or play a sport together or whatever take a cooking class you know having something to look forward to and something where you're consistently staying connected
7:00 - 8:00
along with this and it's been in every uh part of this right is communication figuring out how you each communicate best and stick to it or add to it right we can again do weekly check-ins we can text each other things as they come up the other person can respond at their Leisure um if it's something more important again you might want to schedule time to do that if it's just general you might chat during dinner
8:00 - 9:00
the last piece of this section um is again maybe not entirely new but managing expectations so talk through those expectations whether they're ones you have for yourself whether they're ones you have for your partner um you know if they expectations about the routine or how you spend time together the other person cannot read your mind and it is not their job to guess it is your job to let them know what the expectations are just as it's their job to let you know what their expectations are
9:00 - 10:00
um once you can talk about those together you can each set boundaries around it this is what I will or will not do this is what I am or am not able to accommodate right but having that base of what each of you expects is really going to help in this process when you don't always have time to communicate it on the spot or in the day-to-day
10:00 - 11:00
find common ground and agree on priorities agree on how tasks or chores will be split if my partner is doing 60 and I'm doing 40 but they're okay with that great if we feel like we need to split it up 50/50 um how are we going to make that work and what is a reasonable ask for each of us to do
11:00 - 12:00
family Harmony strategies often involve prioritizing time together whether you have to schedule it whether it's a part of a routine if you can at least carve out 15 minutes a day right that is all children at least need to feel connected to you um for your partner that might look differently for your mom or dad or whoever that might look differently so prioritizing that time and managing expectations of what that looks like
12:00 - 13:00
social life integration again some of this was covered previously so maybe this is a reminder maybe this is something new when I want to make plans with people or attend events I really probably need to prioritize what those things are I can't realistically go to them all so what events are most important to me
13:00 - 14:00
continuous adaptation um find what works for you you know in the previous section we talked about ways to build a routine manage time you maybe have already gotten into a groove or you're still navigating that find what works and then become flexible in it right if anything is too rigid and we can't change or accommodate or adjust um it's usually holding some kind of anxiety for us
14:00 - 15:00
this was our last piece of this course um you made it to the end maybe I will see you again but thanks for joining me for your guide to relationship ship and family life for night shift workers until next time
